The Healing of Home
by MaddieAndrews8
Summary: Takes place right after the episode The Best of Both Worlds. Jean-Luc goes home and asks Beverly to accompany him.


**Author's Notes: **Some stories take up residence in my head until I write them down. Enjoy the musings.

**Disclaimer:** Paramount owns Star Trek: The Next Generation and its characters. I just borrow them on occasion.

Her head ached. All she wanted to do was go to her quarters, take a hot shower, and collapse into bed. She sighed; this report was not going to write itself. Finishing up the end of the fourth section, Beverly suddenly felt that she was being watched. A genuine smile, one of very few in the past week, spread across her lips.

"Hello Jean-Luc. You are looking much healthier this evening."

"Why thank you Doctor," he said as he pushed away from the doorframe he had been leaning on.

Beverly sat back in her chair and pulled one of her legs up under her chin as he came to stand near her, slightly sitting back on her desk. "Were you watching me Captain?"

A slight smile graced his stoic face. "Just checking to see if you had passed out on your desk yet. Beverly, it's been a horrendous week for all of us. You need sleep just as much as everyone you have prescribed it to."

She sighed and settled her chin on top of her knee. "I know. I know. I was just trying to get a little further into the report headquarters is expecting by the end of the week. There's a lot of information to dissect and regurgitate." A moment of silence settled between the two exhausted officers. "You really shouldn't be worrying about me anyway, Jean-Luc. You need to rest and heal."

"I can do both." His tone was gentle and yet, there was something in it Beverly couldn't place.

Looking up at him she could see that his color wasn't quite back to normal yet and he had dark circles under his eyes. Apparently the sleep she prescribed for him wasn't easy to come by. Gracefully unfolding herself from her chair to stand, she reached for his hand. He squeezed it gently to signal that he really was doing alright.

"Did you just come to spy on me or was there something specific you wanted to see me about?"

Jean-Luc's smile slipped a little and the always confident Captain Picard looked slightly unsure of himself. His command face slipped quickly back into place, but Beverly had seen his uncertainty.

Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, she assured him, "You know you can tell me anything."

Cloudy grey eyes met azure blue ones as he looked up. "Yes, I know." He paused and took a deep breath. "I came to let you know that I've decided to take some leave."

"I think that's a wonderful idea. For how long?"

"At least two weeks. I may extend it, I'm not sure yet. I have plenty of leave saved up." He said with a chuckle.

"Well, you are known for being difficult to get to go on vacation," she replied with a cheeky smile. "Have you decided where you'll go?"

"Home."

"Really? You haven't been to France for a while. Are you sure this is a good time?"

"Yes. It may not be the easiest place to finish my recovery. My brother is likely not to understand the gravity of what has happened, but it's time I went home."

"I agree. I'm just surprised you are choosing to go without prodding."

Jean-Luc smiled, "Maybe I knew if I let you and Deanna at me it would be inevitable anyway."

Slipping out of her lab coat, she laughed. "There is that. Have you eaten?"

"Today?"

One of Beverly's perfect eyebrows shot up, "You better have eaten a meal today mister! I was referring to the last couple of hours."

Jean-Luc laughed at her reaction. It was a true, hearty laugh and it made her smile. "No, I haven't eaten for a while. I came to see you first."

"Your charm won't work on me Picard." He drew his features into a pout and she couldn't help but giggle. _Since when does he pout?_

"I had planned on asking you one more thing, but I was planning on the charm giving me an edge…"

Folding her arms in mock annoyance, Beverly huffed, "I'm listening."

As much as Jean-Luc was enjoying the light mood and her teasing, he knew he needed her to understand his seriousness. "Beverly….I was wondering if…if you…will you come with me?"

Smiling softly, she took his hands in hers. _That was hard for him. _"As your personal physician? You're healing well Jean-Luc. You just need to get more rest and to eat good meals."

_ It would be so easy to say yes to that. She would never know I need her there as more... I'm tired of the easy way with us._

"As my best friend." He waited for the rejection he was so sure would come.

"Oh…" _I can't believe he actually admitted that_, she thought. "Well, I'll have to see if my boss will approve the leave."

Jean –Luc chuckled, "Already done."

"You're awfully sure of yourself _Captain_."

"Just hopeful that my dear friend might see the benefit in a little down time spent in the French countryside."

"When do we leave for Earth?"

"I was planning to leave around ten hundred hours tomorrow. I've decided to take one of our shuttles, so we can leave later if you need more time."

Beverly quickly calculated how much time it would take to delegate the experiments she had running. "I think I can be ready by then. I need to discuss a few things with my staff and re-allocate some projects. It shouldn't take me long to pack, plus if I forget something…Paris is a quick trip."

"What about the report you were working on?"

"I can either stay up tonight and finish it-"

"No."

"_Or_ I can work on it on the flight to earth and submit it from there. I could probably finish it tonight Jean-Luc; I've pulled all nighters before."

"If I'm right, you've already been pulling all nighters many nights this week. I'd rather you get some sleep and finish it on the way or even after we get there. It's not due until the end of the week, right?"

Beverly placed a gentle hand on his cheek, "Alright, you win. I'll do it later." Dropping her hand back to her side, she sighed. "I'll leave instructions for Dr. Selar and Alyssa and call it a night. Happy?"

"Yes."

Silence descended again. Beverly sat back down and pulled her terminal closer to her.

Now, if you want me out of here and resting…shoo. I'll meet you in shuttle bay two at ten hundred tomorrow?"

He leaned close to her ear, "See you then."

As Jean-Luc walked slowly out of the doctor's office, Beverly watched him go. She couldn't quite figure out what he was playing at, _This will be an interesting leave_.

Jean-Luc Picard sat relaxed in the pilot seat of the shuttle. His presence there was technically unnecessary and he knew it. The shuttle had been on auto pilot for over an hour, but his seat gave him a closer view of his traveling companion. Beverly Crusher sat in the co-pilot's chair completely engrossed in the report she was writing for headquarters. She had been working feverishly for days now, first to rescue him from the Borg and then to give him his humanity back. He had read all the reports, even though he was technically not on duty. Will had understood his _need _to know what his crew had been through to save him. Unfortunately he knew from experience that those reports were missing details. Omitted, he knew, to protect him or the writer from too many personal feelings appearing in an official report. Will had shared some details with him, as had Deanna in his sessions with her. Beverly, however, had remained mostly silent on how the week had affected her. He knew it had hurt her more than she was letting on; nearly thirty years of friendship allowed him that insight. She clearly hadn't been sleeping well, even after he had been deemed "back to normal." Her porcelain skin was slightly sunken around her eyes and much paler than her usual healthy glow. He noticed that her fiery hair was clean now, but still haphazardly pulled into a ponytail.

_ I could probably count the times I've seen her in a ponytail, outside of an emergency situation, on one hand_, he thought.

The most telling sign, to him, were her eyes. He had always loved those eyes; so incredibly blue and soul searching. She held her heart in those eyes. When she was teasing, they shone in amusement. Now they were clouded. He knew that she would talk to him when she was ready; the problem being, it was usually past the point where the silence was healthy.

_ Maybe that's one of the reasons we're such good friends. We're both incredibly stubborn when it comes to letting others into our pain. I guess that's not really a good thing…_

A few hours later, Jean-Luc sat in silent shock. The pad he was holding in his hand shook as he tried to contain his reaction. Beverly had dozed off and he had gently removed her report from her hand. His crew had risked everything to save him, he had known that…but this report held details he hadn't known. He was angry with the Borg, angry with Starfleet. Picard stood and began to pace. He knew, as a Starfleet officer, that he was expendable in severe situations. But his crew had truly had to fight in order to even attempt to rescue him. Dealing with violence against yourself is one thing, but coming to terms with what others underwent in your absence _for_ you is another thing completely.

He turned his eyes to Beverly. The emotional battle she had undergone to save him broke his heart. She was his best friend; she'd had more to lose than the others all along, but this…this report proved how hard she had worked to bring him back to humanity. The failures and the success of miracles which allowed him to stand here now. He owed her everything.

Taking a deep breath he decided that, for now, he would let her sleep. They would reach Earth soon and then there would be settling into the Picard home, but he would get her to talk to him eventually. He was even more determined now.

Beverly watched her companion closely as they gathered their bags from the transporter pad. Jean-Luc had been quiet since she had awoken up from her nap. After docking the shuttle, they had beamed directly to the transporter station in La Barre. Even now, as they headed outside, not a word was spoken.

Jean-Luc stepped into the late morning sun and breathed in deeply. It smelled like home; he hadn't forgotten after all. Beverly watched layers of stress fall away from her dear friend. A small smile graced her lips as she touched his arm gently.

"Is anyone meeting us, Jean?"

Jean-Luc tuned to Beverly and smiled, "I thought a little walk might be enjoyable for both of us." With a smug wink, he added, "I'm glad you packed rather lightly."

Beverly slung her duffle over her shoulder, picked up her smaller bag in her right hand, and stuck her tongue out at him. "Shall we?"

Reaching for her hand, Jean-Luc smiled. They were in no hurry, so they stopped often to look out over the vineyards and fields on the way to the Picard home. Beverly noticed Jean-Luc's slower steps as they neared a bend in the road.

"Jean-Luc? What is it?"

He sighed deeply, "Maybe this wasn't such a good idea after all, Beverly."

She set her bag down on the gravel road and reached out for his hand. Her other hand gently stroked his cheek. Beverly's deep blue eyes searched his hazel ones. Her heart ached for him; she knew coming home was difficult for him, for many reasons.

"It is a good idea. I know that it isn't easy, but this is where you need to be right now. You need to be with family, with people who care about you as Jean-Luc…not just as the Captain."

He regarded her suspiciously.

"As your very qualified personal physician, I am right."

A glint of humor shone in his eyes. He chuckled as he pulled her into an embrace.

"What would I do without you Beverly?"

"Mope."

Beverly turned on her heel and picked up her small suitcase. She headed for the bend, figuring they must be nearing the house. She heard him follow after a moment of hesitation. He chuckled again as he rounded the corner to find her standing stock still. Beverly's mouth hung just slightly open. Jean-Luc walked past her toward the house.

"Are you coming?"

"Why have I never been here, Jean? It's incredible. The pictures you have don't do it justice."

"Well, I suppose you've never been here because Robert and I aren't much for visiting each other. It's been a long time since I've been back. It's amazing…the house looks the same and yet different. The plants are all quite a bit larger than the last time I was here. But everything smells the same."

Silence blanketed the air between them as they stood taking in the Picard home.

Suddenly the silence was replaced with exuberant greetings.

"Jean-Luc! Beverly! Bon jour! Welcome to La Barre!"

Hours later, after settling into their rooms, Beverly sat observing the scene in front of her at the table. Marie had started to clear the dinner dishes and Rene had been sent to finish his homework. The tension between Robert and Jean-Luc was nearing ridiculous levels as her gaze volleyed between the two brothers.

Dinner had been a pleasant enough affair. Marie and Beverly had kept the conversation flowing and Rene had a million questions for his uncle. Now that dinner was over, Rene was gone from the table, and Jean-Luc's exhaustion was setting in, the reason these two didn't spend much time together was becoming quite obvious. Beverly decided to interrupt before it got any worse.

"Gentlemen! I really think you both need to take a break from each other. I'm sure Marie is just as tired as I am of hearing the two of you bicker! What kind of example are you setting for Rene?"

Marie came out of the kitchen just in time to see the Picard brothers staring at each other warily.

"I suppose it never occurred to me to speak up. I've been dealing with the hard headedness too many years!"

Jean-Luc smirked, "Beverly has never been one to hold her tongue."

Beverly chose to ignore his snide comment. "Marie, do you need any help in the kitchen?"

"Thank you dear, but I'm all finished."

"Then I'll say good night. Thank you so much for dinner and for your hospitality. Maybe by morning, these two will start acting their ages." Beverly winked at Marie as she kissed her cheek and left the room.

"I think Beverly might have the right idea. Bon noir Robert, Jean-Luc."

Beverly glanced up from her book as a soft knock sounded on her door. Wondering if it was Marie or Jean-Luc, she set her book aside.

"Beverly? May I come in?"

"Come in Jean-Luc."

Looking slightly sheepish, Jean-Luc Picard stepped slowly into his childhood room. He noted that it looked very similar to when he was a boy. One of his model ships even sat on the tall dresser in one corner.

His best friend sat stoically on the window seat and watched him silently. Now he knew he was really in trouble. Whenever Beverly was silent, with that particular look on her face, a lecture was never far from away. Jean-Luc sat on the foot of the bed to face her.

"Do you know what time we got here Jean-Luc?"

"To the house? It was just before noon I think."

"And what time is it now?"

Jean-Luc didn't know where she was going with this, but he felt it'd be best to answer her. "It's nearly nine."

Beverly uncurled her legs from the window seat and crossed them in front of her. She chuckled to herself as Jean-Luc's eyes widened slightly at the sight of her bare legs. _Maybe I ought to wear more skirts onboard_, she thought.

"So we've been here for just over nine hours."

"Be..v..erly, what are you getting at?"

"You couldn't even be civil to your brother long enough to finish dinner in peace! I know . . . . It wasn't all you, I was there. But, Jean-Luc, _you're_ the diplomat. You didn't even try! He goaded you and you let him every time! What has gotten into you?" Beverly's cheeks flushed with her frustration.

Jean-Luc knew she was right. He and Robert had always known just what buttons to push to drive the other one crazy. He moved to sit next to her.

"You're right."

"I know." Beverly was not about to let him off that easily.

Jean-Luc reached for her hand, "I'm sorry Beverly. I acted like a child and gave no thought to you or Marie."

"Or Rene. Think of the example you and his father just set for him."

"_Or_ Rene. I will apologize to him and Marie in the morning." Standing up, Jean-Luc began to pace. "Maybe we shouldn't have come here after all. I knew Robert wouldn't understand any of this."

Beverly stilled his pacing by grabbing his hand. "You needed to come home Jean-Luc. You may not believe me, but I know you did."

Sitting down again, he was silent for a moment.

"There's just so much to sort through Beverly."

"That's why I'm here…as your friend, not as your doctor. I know you Jean-Luc…if you'd gone anywhere else you would have avoided dealing with everything. Here, you can't. If nothing else, Robert will make you so mad you'll tell him what happened, in detail, just to shut him up."

Knowing she was right once again, he pulled her into a hug. He relished the feel of her body pressed to his. Before the Borg had taken complete control of him, he had wondered if he'd ever have the opportunity to touch her again.

Beverly wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled him closer. She hadn't realized just how much she had missed his closeness until he held her. Late one night, while she had been fighting to find his humanity amongst all the Borg in his body, she had held him and begged him to come back to her. His flesh had been cool and he hadn't responded at all, which had only made her cry harder. He was warm against her now and he held her tightly. Silent tears slid from her eyes onto his shirt. Jean-Luc realized something wasn't right and tried to pull back to look at her. Beverly clutched his shoulders so he couldn't move.

"Hey," he whispered into her ear. "Hey, I'm right here Bev."

Her body shook slightly as she fought the sobs building in her chest. Jean-Luc rubbed slow circles on her back and spoke softly to her. The words from her report filled his mind as he held her. She had fought so hard to bring him back; there had been more failures than successes. Had she leaned on anyone through it all? He doubted it. She was almost as bad as him when it came to seeking out help and talking about difficult feelings. They leaned on each other, but he hadn't been able to be there for her this time. She'd held it all in…until now.

"Beverly, come on," he disengaged himself from her arms only enough to pick her up. He laid her gently on the bed and turned to close the door, which he'd left just barely ajar. Her lithe hand shot out and clutched his. He glanced back to see terror in her eyes. Making quick work of the door, he lay down next to her and pulled her to him.

"Shhh…I just had to shut the door Beverly. I'm not going anywhere, I promise you." Feeling her relax in his arms, he sighed. "Let it out mon couer. I'm here now….shhh…" His heart broke as Beverly's sobs overwhelmed her.

Marie Picard bolted straight up in bed as a bone chilling scream tore through the upper story of her home. She couldn't even hear her own heart beat over the roar in her ears. She attempted to wake her husband, but he was sound asleep. She had often joked that an old fashion freight train could charge through their bedroom and he wouldn't stir.

Beverly had warned her that Jean-Luc might have nightmares and call out in the night, but she hadn't expected anything like the petrifying sound she had just heard. Quickly grabbing her robe, she headed for the door. Behind her, lying silent in bed, Robert Picard opened his eyes. What must his brother have been through to bring on such dreams?

As Marie stepped into the hallway she met Beverly's troubled gaze.

"He'll be alright Marie. The nightmares can be pretty debilitating at times."

"Are you sure? I've never heard a person make a noise like that."

"Unfortunately, I have. I promise you, he will be alright. I'll stay with him and see if he'll talk to me. Try to go back to sleep."

Marie squeezed Beverly's hand reassuringly, "Please let me know if you need _anything_."

"I will." Beverly turned and quickly retreated into her room.

Beverly reentered the bedroom she was using to find Jean-Luc sitting up against the headboard. She sat down gingerly near him on the bed and handed him the glass of water she had gone to get.

"Here, drink this."

Silently accepting the offered glass, Jean-Luc closed his eyes as he sipped the cool liquid. Beverly brushed her hand across his forehead to check for signs of fever.

"I'm fine," he rasped.

"I'll be the judge of that, if you don't mind."

After taking the glass from his shaking hand, she set it on the nightstand. She pulled the sheet and comforter back and climbed into bed, hoping Jean-Luc would do the same. After a moment's hesitation, he followed suit. Beverly didn't want to push him too far, but he needed to sleep.

"Jean…I have something to help you sleep. Will you take it?"

He looked at her skeptically, "Did Beverly Crusher just offer to make everything go away with drugs?"

She smiled at his question; teasing was a good sign. "No, I did not. I want you to talk to me…Then maybe the dreams won't be so bad. But I figured you'd scoff at that option too. You really do need to sleep Jean-Luc. I know you've only been catching intermittent rest at best."

Reaching for her hand, he sighed. "Beverly I'm not the only one who went through hell in all of this. I read your report. I was here earlier when you broke down. I don't want to add to your pain, your worry."

"Haven't you realized yet that I will always worry about you when you're going through something like this? Not because it's my job, but because you're my best friend?"

Jean-Luc stroked her cheek with his fingertips, "That doesn't make it any easier to burden you Beverly."

Her breath caught at the sensation of his touch. She wanted to tell him how much she loved him, maybe that would make it easier for him to share what he was going through.

"It isn't your job, even as my best friend, to deal with this Beverly."

Beverly searched his eyes and caught just a glimmer of hope there. She took a deep breath and leaned a little closer to him.

"What if I want it to be?"

Jean-Luc glanced at their joined hands trying to figure out her meaning.

"What if I want it to be my job Jean-Luc?"

"Beverly, what are you saying?"

She smiled and held his hands a little tighter. "I just think it _would_ probably be the job of the woman who loves you to be there through anything and everything…Don't you?"

Jean-Luc suddenly realized how close he was sitting to Beverly. _In a bed, no less. _They were so good at dancing around their feelings for each other, that he couldn't be sure that she was actually saying what he thought she was saying.

"Beverly…are you trying to tell me that you…"

"I love you. I want you to let me in and help you with this because I love you."

Realizing that she had actually said the words out loud, Beverly held her breath unable to look Jean-Luc in the eye. A slow smile spread across his face as he watched her. She had shocked herself; that much was clear. She had managed to surprise him too, but not because she loved him. He had had an inkling for a while that she might have deeper feelings than she let on. He just never thought she'd say it out loud, unless perhaps he said it first. Placing his index finger under her chin, he lifted her face. Her eyes were closed and she was shaking a little.

Jean-Luc closed the very small gap between them, caressing her lips with a gentle kiss. Salty tears slid down her cheeks. Wrapping his arms around her, he pulled her closer and deepened the kiss. At first she kissed him slowly as if in a dream. The events of the past week began to overwhelm her once again and she kissed him with fevered abandon. His tears mingled with hers as the pent up fear of losing one another was finally allowed to surface.

"Beverly?"

"Hmm," she replied, not wanting to break their contact.

Jean-Luc framed her beautiful face with his hands, "Beverly, look at me."

Beverly's eyes fluttered open, her eyes slightly dreamy and shinning with love. He finally realized how adapt both of them had become at hiding their love for one another. He had never seen it there before, her passion and desire for him. Jean-Luc could feel the idiotic smile on his face, but he didn't try to hide it from her.

"I love you Beverly. I have loved you for over half of my life. I was so afraid I wouldn't get to tell you."

Her lips captured his again in a sweet kiss filled with promise. "Me too." She paused, growing serious again.

"First I was afraid they would kill you as soon as they had you. Then I was terrified we'd never get you back. Once we had you on board…I really don't know how I came up with any of the plans I did. I was so afraid I would never get my best friend back; never get to tell you what you've always meant to me. I could hardly think straight. Then, when we knew you were still there, fighting their influence…I've never been so terrified to treat someone in my entire life. I wouldn't have survived killing you with one of the crazy things I tried. If you had died, on my table, in my sickbay, Jean-Luc…"

"Hey…hey...I'm here. You _saved_ me Beverly! And I knew all along that only you would be able to do it."

"I _had_ to. Or loose myself too."

"Thank you…for not giving up on me. For nearly killing yourself to bring me back. Although, if it's all the same to you…I'd rather you not do that again."

Her humor returning she replied, "Stop ending up on my table and we'll talk."

They relished the closeness they now felt between them. Snuggling down into the covers, she smiled. Jean-Luc followed suit and Beverly sidled up to him. Jean-Luc marveled at how perfectly her body fit against his; her head tucked perfectly under his chin while her right arm draped across his chest.

"I hadn't planned on seducing you into bed you know. At least not on the first night here," the smile in her voice caused him to chuckle. She cherished the feel of his laughter reverberating through his chest as she lay partially draped on top of him.

"Really? I think this worked out much better, don't you?"

"Mmm, I should have told you I loved you a long time ago. I've never felt so safe and secure as I do in your arms." Sighing she closed her eyes.

"We both could have spoken up," he kissed the top of her head before he continued. "I think I'll wait on that medication my love. Between my utter exhaustion and you in my arms, I'm hoping to sleep soundly for what's left of the night."

"Tomorrow?"

"Yes, dear."

With a gentle smack, she scolded, "Watch it or I'll give it to you anyway."

"Sleep now my beautiful Beverly."

She was breathing evenly by the time he finished the sentence. Amazed by her doctor's talent of nodding off, he kissed her again and closed his own eyes.


End file.
